Morlium has prepared a special treat, a concoction of writing, audio, visuals, and cinema.
(A man in suit and fedora, leaning on an axe stands before you)
Currently, you are reading these words on a web browser, a program designed to convert the chaos of “the internet” into…flickering lights forming words and pictures that you can understand. Needless to say, this is a very…primitive method of exploring and exploiting this internet. I humbly present to you the exploits of a man who can experience and interact with the internet on a…more intimate level.
Table of Contents:
Ah yes, it was…some time ago, I don’t bother to look up the date (detectives are…suspicious of people interested in the event). I used to…wander the Alaskan Wilderness. I was self sufficient, between hunting, woodwork, and…a few other skills, I was able to feed and shelter myself. Unfortunately, things in your civilization changed, land became…protected, and claimed by your government. I happened to wander onto a “National Park” during my wanderings. Your rangers did not appreciate my…efficient molding of nature to my needs. I apparently committed what your rangers described as…”the wanton destruction of trees on a National Reserve.” After appearing in court, they…tried to arrest me. I fled, still in suit and hat. I was on the run from the law.
I was chased relentlessly. Eventually, I found myself in the center of a…tightening coil of officers on my position. I came across a communications line. There was a thunderstorm that day, an extremely…rare occurrence in that part of the world. By sheer coincidence, lightning struck the line as I neared it, and I was engulfed, suit, axe, and all.
I was not sure what had…happened to me, all I know is that I was experiencing something I had…never experienced before. I had a vague sensation that I was…interconnected with electronics. As I would later learn, the information I rode eventually reached Asia, and thanks to my…disorientation, I was swept into a piece of hardware where I found my ability to act…severely restricted. It would not be until later that I learned I had ended up in a Zero Wing video game cartridge.
After a considerable wait, I felt a surge of…energy, and I was aware I was being observed. Unfortunately, having been idle for so long, I could barely…communicate properly, and my pleas that I was trapped in the cartridge came out…unintelligible.
Fortunately, now that the cartridge had power, I was able to…learn more about my surroundings. I won’t bore you with details you are incapable of fathoming, but I will say that I was…eventually able to make my way to the world wide web.
Now that I was on the world wide web, I occasionally encountered…’web surfers’. I found these people to be extremely…immature, so I tried to offer advice where I could.
Unfortunately, I found that these surfers were quick to…draw conclusions about who I was. At that moment, I realized that…a top-hat and axe are apparently signature items of…another famous figure. As a result, I…altered my appearance by replacing my top-hat with a fedora, which I had no trouble finding on the world wide web.
Movement on the internet and electronics is…not at all how you would expect it to be. It is in fact quite complex and difficult. Even after my previous forays, I still had…a significant bit of trouble. I had vowed I would train myself until I was…completely comfortable moving around. I set up what would be…analogous to a gym on some Nintendo64. Unfortunately, the owner witnessed one of my practice sessions. He attributed the bizarre sight he saw to…a hardware glitch. I thought this was…rather trite, but to each their own.
Once a wanderer…always a wanderer. I was wandering on a mountain of some game…called “SkiFree”. The particular computer I was residing on at the time was owned by a…certain environmentalist whose name I cannot quite recall. Needless to say, I was busy deforesting the mountainside when he…stumbled upon me. The sight of so many trees which he held dear being…utterly destroyed scarred him. In an attempt to cope, his mind edited the scene he saw to a more…enticing scene. The trees became fireworks, the stumps became rainbows, and I…well, I had already been mistaken for a cat(s) once…
The music was made to blot out the sounds of chopping. I must confess however, that I have…no idea where the pop-tart came from. Perhaps he was hungry?
Sometimes, it is a…struggle to survive. Recently, however, a large number of people have been creating…resource-rich areas called “MineCraft Servers” on the internet. These areas offer…plenty of resource for me to harvest and utilize, as well as some…novel ways to harvest them.
However, one day there was a little…misunderstanding over some extremely blurry footage (is there any other type of footage of unusual events?)…
For the record, I was…trying to keep the other person away from the wood I had just extracted (Wake up! You are stealing my stuff!). I did everything I could do to try to appear…un-frightenening, I even had a face mask on, rather than my usual blank head! However, he blew it way out of proportion, and the event spawned an…urban legend it would seem.
In September of 2015, I made a residence agreement with a certain…computer owner with username Emorelleum. During my stay…he abused my goodwill, exploited me, and blamed me for things he was responsible for.
He tasked me on a certain “final project.” I made sure that it was sufficiently…self-serving to recover my reputation, and sufficiently short to insure he gets a bad grade on it.
This however, was not enough, so on December 11, 2015, I burned down his hard drive.
What is that, this was posted prior to December 11?
Well then Emorelleum, consider yourself warned.
As you can see, the animations were drawn by hand (err…computer-hand). The basic images, such as the trees and Morlium in different poses, were drawn using MS Paint. To mass-produce images for animation, there is a need for reuse. For the Dancing sequence, I drew Morlium in 7 different poses, then pasted those into powerpoint slides. Once in powerpoint, the images could be nudged and rotated to add further variety to the dance moves without having to draw an inordinate number of sprites. Once the slides were put together, you can save them as individual images by ‘saving as’ a picture format, and selecting ‘save every slide’ in powerpoint 2010. Then, I brought up Windows Movie Maker and pasted all the images into the pictures/clips area. Once posted in (with them all still being selected), I used the Edit (video tools)->time duration to make the pictures flip in relatively quick succession, giving the appearance of animation.
The Nyan-cat parody required a little extra effort, however, to insure that the scene looked correct. First, the observant watcher will notice that ALL the trees are actually the same tree, although some have been grown/shrunk across different dimensions to give variety. To get this done, I split the drawing area into 3 sections, the top, middle, and bottom.
The middle section is actually the same two pictures alternating back and forth. The top and bottom sections, however, are actually some 40 inches of drawn treescape. To keep the whole clip in sync, the top and bottom sections have to move the same amount as the middle section is suggesting. In my case, I found I could get pretty close by selecting the top and bottom images, then nudging the image 10 times to the left (selecting the image and hitting the left arrow 10 times). The result was effective, but again, the observant watcher will notice that it is not perfect.