(A man in a suit and fedora stands before you, leaning on an axe. Despite a blank face, you feel waves of incidental hostility flow over you)
I see…my lazy landlord thinks I am a party to his sloth. Surely he did not expect to get away with…such words so easily. Has he ever run over by a bus? Perhaps he should…refrain from giving the experience to others, lest he receive it himself…
Perhaps he does not know how tirelessly I have worked to make the internet my home. Perhaps he does not know how hard I have worked to SHAPE THE INTERNET IN MY OWN IMAGE. I do not receive from him the respect I am due. Just look at this previous shoddily made attempt at describing my past. It was so bad I had to cut it off before he…damaged my reputation
Perhaps he is just…ignorant. Perhaps I must…more explicitly narrate my own achievements. The video above alluded to them. Have you wondered…the origins of the Nyan Cat? They are much darker than the feline would have you believe.
I do not wish to…spoil the seamless barrage of strikes against my landlord. For now I leave you with…this preview, one of many that I will demonstrate and weave together into a…truly worthy tale of my history.
I am not here to judge, only to state what is.